I have a big interest about the north. Northern Europe to be exact. Lithuania, Estonia, Norway, Denmark and of course Sweden. First thing that comes to peoples mind is that there is no sun there. The sun to them is important somehow. At least for the rest of the world but not for me. I live in Turkey which is supposed to be a sunny place when compared to Nordic countries. But if you calculate that I work for 5 days a week and wake up at 6:40 am before the sun rises and I go to work and stay there till 6pm which is when the sunsets or in winter after the sun already set - so when do i see the sun? Not during the day. Most of the time I am stuck inside an office and can't see the sun. So what is the point of living in Turkey for the sun? There is no point. if you are rich enough and you don't have to work you may enjoy the sun. I know it will be boring later on. You can't always have sun. It will give you diseases. You can not even look at the sun. You squint. You need special glasses to be able to keep your eyes open outside. You can't even look straight at the sun without squinting even with the glasses on. It doesn't make sense to love the sun. It hurts. Maybe that's why people love the sun that much. After all we all run after the things that hurts the most.
Turkey is sunny most of the time. Denmark is dark most of the time. They say it is depressing to be in Denmark because it is dark. Do you think it is not depressing to be in Turkey? Sun smiles for you right? Not really, not for Turks.
Turkey is one of the most depressing countries. Whenever I watch news I only hear xx amount of people died. This person killed this person. There was a fire and xx amount of people died. There was a robbery it ended up with the victim dying. Everyone dies eventually but this is different. A large of amount of people die everyday in the same country for no reason. Today one guy shot a kid just because he threw a stone at his window. A window, a fucking window. It is more important than a 13 years old boy's life? We have no mercy for each other anymore. We do not have empathy. Can you see the irony? It is not about the sun. It is not that we are killing each other everyday because we lack the sun! We lost humanity. We lost sympathy. We lost.
The sun is something else. It comes from people. If you have good, smart people in your country the sun is all over all the time. Depression and anxiety come from capitalism not because it is dark. Nordic people are happier. Turkey gives you fear of the future. Debts at your birth makes you feel powerless. Loss of free speech makes you suicidal. Ataturk thought us to say how happy we are to be a Turk. How happy to the one who says I am Turk more precisely. You see the irony or historical change of the country? Whatever the reason I am laughing that we are not the happy ones anymore. For a long time.
Yes I am depressed. Yes I have the fear of future. Yes I have anxiety. Yes I have sun, more sunny days than cloudy ones. I miss feeling safe when I am back to Turkey. There is no sun but a girl can walk after midnight alone in the fucking dark to her house or where ever she is going. Can you wear your mini skirt and walk into the metro in this sunny country? Do you ever feel safe?
It is not just about sun anymore. It is about the lifestyle or the quality of the life at the moment. We only live once. You only live once. Why spend it here in Turkey. Do better if you have a chance. I couldn't have that chance. Believe me I have tried countless times.