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"How can a day can be your best day and worst day at the same time?" you asked?

Let me tell you about my last weekend.

Life's extremely weird. Don’t misunderstand, I enjoy it is being weird. At least most of the time. I am here with a girl whom I love being with but not allowed to touch. It is like in a video games like Mario, you come to the last stage to save princess, but you are not allowed to play anymore or each time computer crashes at last stage. I’m tired of this. Tired of chasing hopes which never comes true. My energy has been drained.

Can you envision a situation where you are with your flirt and she smiles at you in a way that almost no one ever smiled at you? She has this kind of the smile which takes your heart out of your body. She has this look that tells everyone who is the boss. When she walks around people get out of her way. She is strong. She is used to get what she wants.

Visualize yourself getting some food ordered to your room. You talk, you eat, and you drink some red wine. You get to know her better. You listen to her stories; how she grows up, how much she likes her mother and how much she looks like her father. You listen who she loves and who she hates. She tells you about her daydreams and includes you in some part of it. She shows you her arty soul. Every now and then she looks at you and smiles which makes your heart skip a beat.

You watch a Korean TV show which its audio is Russian, and you don't speak either languages. Still you relish and laugh with her. Not in a fake way. You understand from the pictures and her facial impressions.  She wears your baby blue colored sweat and she looks astonishing under it. Her perfect smooth skin is not hidden. Long stimulating legs are wondering around before going to the bed. It is obvious that she just took care of herself before she meets you. Hairs done; nails done. But she doesn't wear any make up. You see her after shower and her baby face is the same before. She is not modified like bitches nowadays.

You are in bed and it is chili in the room despite the heater due to problem on windows. So, you must stick with the same blanket which makes you get closer. When the show finishes you go to the bed and spoon her. she doesn't mind it, but she says you are just a friend. And in the middle of the night she takes your hand and makes you grab her boob and you spend the rest of the night like that. In the morning you walk together, you discover a new city together. You take pictures of her and get pictures together. You eat together, you drink together, you laugh together. She prefers Piña colada while you are having your whiskey sour, sour like your life. You let her enjoy churches, museums, souvenirs and you are trying your best to comfort her. You get her some souvenirs.  You stay a few steps behind just to give her enough space. You spend superiority time together. On the way back home, you get some craft beer and a bottle of wine. You walk home together.

You watch the next episode of this Korean series in company of beer and wine. Still in Russian. She feels uncomfortable and you offer her the bed alone. Just to make sure that she doesn't misunderstand you. She wants to go to bed with you and you don't even touch her just because she says you are just friends. And in the middle of the night she turns to you and hugs you with arms and legs. She is hot. Literally hot. You feel like you are drowning to the center of the sun. You feel her nipples. It’s hard. You are turned on. Just because she is half asleep you don't touch her. In the morning she just smiles at you the way she conquers your heart and goes to airport. And after all of this she thinks that you are a bad person just because you posted her face photo on your photography page which she looks stunning. She blocks all the possible ways to connect.