I love food. This is probably the main problem.
Some people eat because they are hungry. I occasionally eat because I am hungry too, but that is not the whole story.
Food is entertainment. Food is comfort. Food is something to experiment with when I am bored. Food can turn an ordinary day into a good day.
Unfortunately, food also contains calories. An absolutely terrible design decision.
I Have Tried Different Ways of Eating
At different times, I have experimented with fasting, keto, low-carb eating, eating one meal a day and generally trying to figure out what actually works for me.
I am naturally skeptical when someone claims they have discovered the perfect diet. Usually, they discovered it three weeks ago and now they are trying to recruit everyone they know into a nutritional religion.
The truth is much less exciting. Different approaches can work for different people. The difficult part is finding something you can actually live with. Not something you can survive for ten miserable days while watching food videos at midnight. Something sustainable. Something that doesn't make you hate your life.
The Problem Is That I Actually Like Cooking
If I didn't enjoy food, staying in shape would probably be much easier. Unfortunately, I enjoy cooking. I enjoy buying ingredients. I enjoy experimenting. I enjoy taking something ordinary and trying to make it better.
Give me a steak, a good pan and some time and I am happy. Give me eggs, flour, milk, protein powder, fruit, Nutella and almond cream and my brain immediately starts asking unnecessary questions. Can I make pancakes with this? Can I turn this into a dessert that somehow contains enough protein for me to pretend it is healthy?
These experiments don't always go well. Sometimes I create something incredible. Sometimes I eat the evidence and promise myself nobody needs to know.
Food Is Not Just Food
I think many people pretend that food is purely fuel. Eat this many calories. Consume this much protein. Avoid this. Track that. From a purely technical perspective, that makes sense. But humans are not machines.
Food has memories attached to it. Travel has food attached to it. Some of my strongest memories of different countries are connected to meals rather than buildings or museums. I may forget the name of a street. But I will remember an incredible meal.
Trying to completely separate eating from pleasure is probably unrealistic for someone like me. The challenge is not learning how to stop enjoying food. The challenge is learning when enjoyment becomes excess.
I Don't Want Food to Control Me
This is the part I am still figuring out. I don't want to live a life where I constantly say no to everything I enjoy. But I also don't want every decision to be controlled by cravings.
There has to be a balance somewhere between eating like a monk and treating every Tuesday afternoon like a food festival. Some days I am disciplined. Some days I am very disciplined. And some days there is Nutella. Life is complicated.
The Goal Is Not Perfection
I don't believe in perfect diets anymore. I don't believe in permanently banning every food you enjoy. And I definitely don't believe that one bad meal destroys months of progress. That mentality is exhausting.
For me, the goal is simpler. Eat better most of the time. Learn how to cook food I genuinely enjoy. Pay attention to how I feel. Don't lie to myself about what I am eating. And occasionally enjoy something completely unnecessary without turning it into a moral crisis.
Food is one of the pleasures of being alive. I just don't want it to become the only one.